Children have been doing household chores since the dawn of time. Chores were once a necessity due to an abundance of work needing completion and a lack of modern technology. Nowadays, with robot vacuums and cleaning services for hire, having children help around the house may not be as essential as it once was. However, household chores for children of all ages are still an important way to teach responsibility and independence.
When Should Kids Start Doing Chores?
All children can help around the house. Children as young as 2 can help pick up their toys and books. 3-year-olds can sort toys by type to make sure everything goes in the correct spot. As children get older, the level of responsibility can increase. By age 4, children can begin to take more responsibility for keeping their room or playroom clean, and they can begin to help their parents with household chores as well.
To help you decide what chores you can reasonably expect children to complete, we offer a few suggestions. Here are some age appropriate chore ideas:
2 years
Pick up toys
Brush teeth
3 years
Help Mom or Dad with laundry (match socks, fold washcloths and hand towels)
Make bed
4-5 years
Set table
Clear table
Put away utensils from dishwasher
Give food and water to pets
Water plants
Sort laundry
6-8 years
Sweep floors
Light dusting
Fold and put away laundry
Run the vacuum cleaner
Clean bathroom sinks and counters
Put away clean dishes
Age 9 and up
Rake leaves
Clean bathrooms
Take out the trash
Wash dishes
Mop floors
Bring in the mail
Keep in mind: these are just suggestions. Every family is different, and you will want to examine your household needs and each child’s capabilities to choose the chores that are best suited for your family.
Why Are Chores Important?
Allowing children to take ownership of certain aspects of maintaining a household is one of the best ways to teach responsibility. Giving your child something that he is responsible for and in control of will increase his sense of autonomy and self-discipline. There is no better feeling than pride in a job well done, and children will greatly benefit from taking pride in their own work.
Taking part in maintaining the home also helps children learn to respect their home and the people in it. Youngsters who are not required to help clean up are likely to leave toys, crumbs, and a mess everywhere. Why wouldn’t they? They know someone else will take care of it.
By contrast, when kids are responsible for picking up their own mess, they will learn to be more conscious of maintaining their space. They will be more considerate of others, rather than carelessly leaving a mess for someone else to pick up. Giving them a part in keeping up the household leads to a more conscientious and respectful attitude toward their parents, siblings, and home.
Finally, we believe teaching children to do household chores from a young age teaches valuable life skills. The chores they begin doing as children are things they will be responsible for as they grow up, so it is helpful and beneficial to teach them early.
Kids who do chores turn into teens and eventually young adults who know how to do laundry, cook, and maintain their living space. No one wants their child to go off to college never having done a load of laundry. Teach them these important lessons early to help them grow up into confident and competent adults.
How To Motivate Kids to Do Chores
There are many schools of thought on how best to explain the idea of chores to young children and on how to make sure each job gets done.
We believe it is important to introduce chores as “jobs” or “responsibilities” rather than as a punishment or something to be dreaded. When you introduce chores to a 3 or 4-year-old, you will want to frame it as something important and special that you are entrusting them with. Help them appreciate the big responsibility they have earned and praise them for a job well done.
Most importantly, be very clear with your expectations. Model exactly how each chore should be done and give your child a chance to practice. This will ensure they understand exactly what to do when it is time to try on their own.
Model a positive attitude as well. If your children see you complaining and grousing about having to do housework, they will echo that sentiment. Instead, remain upbeat and explain that chores are just a part of life and nothing to complain about.
Show your children appreciation and respect for completing their chores in the correct way. Talk about how important it is for everyone to do their jobs. You can even engage them in conversation about why each chore is important. Feeding the pets is important so they stay healthy. Setting the table is important because it helps the family be ready for dinner. Cleaning your room is important so you can find what you need. Every job has a purpose.
Some families choose to tie the completion of chores to earning an allowance. Some choose to give allowance that is not tied to household chores. Both methods are totally valid. It is up to you as a parent to decide how you wish to distribute allowances. If you do choose to tie chores to allowances or other special privileges, we will offer some tips below.
Keeping Track of Chores
OK, you’ve taught your children how to do their chores, you’ve assigned each child responsibilities, and everyone is ready to go. Now what? How will you keep track and make sure the chores are actually getting done?
The classic chore chart is a fairly simple solution to this problem. We suggest keeping track weekly of who has completed which of their responsibilities. An erasable white board that can be filled out every week and then erased for a fresh start is always a good solution. Simple check marks next to each child’s name for the chores they have done work just fine. Of course, you can get as cute or creative as you wish!
We strongly recommend having your children take on the responsibility of checking off their own chores once they are complete. This will help them take ownership of their work. It may take a week or two for them to get used to the routine, but soon it will run like clockwork.
If you are offering your children rewards or allowance based on completing their chores, the chore chart will help you keep track. It also provides an easy way of seeing what has and has not been done for the week so adjustments can be made as needed.
What if the Chores Do Not Get Done?
If you have set expectations for household chores and are consistently monitoring their completion, most likely the chores will be done with few issues. But some children need a little more help finding their motivation than others. You may find that even though you have clearly explained what needs to be done, your children are not following through. We have a few suggestions to try if that is the case with your family.
Identify Your Child’s Motivation
What are his interests, hobbies, and talents? Is there a special privilege he might be willing to work toward, such as extra outside time to ride his bike or play a favorite sport? If possible, try to avoid rewarding with tangible objects such as toys or treats. Instead, preferred activities or extra playtime can be great motivators.
Consider Consequences
If you have laid out expectations and offered rewards, and the work still is not getting done, it is time to consider what the consequences will be. To start, withhold the preferred activity or allowance, if applicable, that completing the chores would earn. If the problem continues, more playtime or other privileges may need to be withheld as well.
Include Your Child in the Conversation
Talk openly about what is going on. Allow your child to help decide on what would be a fair reward for completing all her chores. If she is a part of the conversation, it is more likely the reward will be meaningful for her. Likewise, she can be part of the discussion about what appropriate consequences should be when she does not complete her chores. If you find that chores frequently are not being done, have a frank discussion about why, and see if you can arrive at a solution together.
We hope this article will be helpful to you in evaluating your household needs and dividing up responsibility within your family. Allowing everyone in the family to do their fair share of the work promotes teamwork and family unity, and we believe it is an essential part of raising happy, responsible, and kind kids.